What does it mean to honor a loved one's memory? How does a mother truly keep alive the memory of her dead baby? Does sharing my emotions and thoughts count as honoring the memory of Joshua, or am I just sharing these private thoughts as a means to heal myself? I hope my words, while describing my feelings, give mention to Joshua's memory too. How do I keep alive the memory of a newborn baby that few people knew, but many know of? The only answer I can come up with is this. That Joshua is part of me and who I will become. I will never be the same person I was prior to his birth. I will never be the same person I was prior to his death. Because Joshua shaped who I am and who I will become, I am the physical reminder of his memory. We will not get to watch Joshua grow, but he lives on through who I am as a person. So, by sharing my emotions and thoughts, I am in someway sharing Joshua with you. The path I am on and trying to follow is paved by pain, sorrow, love and Joshua. I hope by travelling this path, and sharing my journey with you, Joshua will be remembered. Joshua's memory lives on through all of you reading my words. Joshua's memory lives on through all my new friends who have also lost a child and know Joshua's story. Joshua's memory will live on as long as we all remember him and say his name. So, I don't have a great answer to my question. I hope my words and actions properly honor my sweet Baby Joshua. I hope by healing myself and finding my way on this unmarked path, I am helping others to remember my precious son.